31 December 2011

2011 in pictures

hmm. i'm not sure how to write this post. i'm not really used to summarizing my actions apart from occasional blogging ("oh look, i took another picture" & "oh wow, this foundation really does the job") and even this is sometimes way too hard as i can't really think in words anymore. just pictures. but this year has been somewhat different, so i'm writing a longer blog post about everything. i hope you enjoy.

1. january

january was somewhat strange, with lots of parties at k's tiny apartment and continuously destroying my hair with bleach. i also found out that the estonian academy of arts was definitely not for me.

i think this was my second shoot ever (first one was the birdcage girl). little shy fox came over and i took pictures with apples and twigs. they were meant for my portfolio back then, for the estonian academy of arts... but never made it there. it was taken with a soap box camera (see the photo of my hair).

i also lightened my hair. a lot. i ended up very orange/piss yellow though.

2. february

on a dark february evening i took pictures of naked girls in the city of angels, hung out with t & m and played soviet board games and alias and it was overall one of the best trips ever. i'm not mentioning the cheap polish "champagne", hehe.

this is me being very drunk and pretending to look very "glamorous and sexy" (more like "lol i'm cute").
i also developed my first winter film which was a complete disappointment.

3. march

created a few pieces of simple jewelry for fun and since my friends are so nice, everybody bought them.
i still have a few forks left... in case you're into weird stuff.

me and baby nikon d40. i spent my days with r, my new bff, and i skipped classes a lot because everything else seemed more important. well, it didn't affect my grades that much. after all, i was about to graduate in a few months. i also had some shoots but most of them failed miserably. the swan shoot was probably the best one, but that's it. very unproductive.

4. april

i had my first shoot with a russian model, sofia, on the cold rooftop of a city centre store and it turned out worse than i expected. i had previously shot very experienced models who were also my friends and communicating with a stranger turned out quite awkward.

i also got a new lens for my film camera and, well, i ended up never using it. poor lens.

i dyed my hair dark brown due to a failed "ashy blonde" attempt (it turned my hair green) and i also finished my weight loss journey (-8 kgs since january). i was the unhealthy dieter, browsing thinspo sites and eating very little. it worked. i wanted to weigh about 50 kgs until someone brought my brains back. thank you.

5. may

found a new face for my photo projects - i believe that's when my style started evolving. we shot three wonderful series in graveyards, abandoned greenhouses and beaches. there are only a few models who are as confident in front of the camera as kadri.

6. june

i took pictures of the beautiful jewish girl elina in her graduation dress and she climbed a tree for the first time in her life. since the kit lens for the nikon d40 had stopped working, i had to use the helios lens (but without the adapter ring, so i had to hold the lens while shooting. very annoying).

i chopped off my hair (well, the hairdresser did). i barely liked anything about my looks during that time. i also graduated in a black and white gothic lolita dress. i blogged very little for some strange reason and had my first photography job (shooting a musician in a fancy french café).

7. july

our first trip together - fuerteventura. planes full of screaming babies and overweight people. i also saw giraffes and zebras for the first time of my life (i have a mental list of animals that i have to see and right now i have my eye on penguins) while my lover was excited about the cheap tobacco and alcohol (lucky strikes!).

i burnt my shoulders and face at the pool and got my first freckles.

i got my first and very own camera, the beautiful nikon d90. didn't remember my hair was already dyed so dark though. this is one of the first pictures i took with it.

july was... overly productive. i had so many shoots that i barely had time to eat. so many concepts, so many new models and so much success. i was truly happy. everything i wanted, i got.

t invited me over to her grandfather's apartment where i met a pretty blonde-haired boy. we sat on the worn-out red benches, with our feet buried in sand and finished a bottle of cold duck (that's what they call rose sparkling wine. i just found out). i took pictures of my darling friend, her skin glowing in the pink sunset. we sat on the windowsills of this tiny flat, our feet hanging over the busy streets, toenails gleaming in the shopping mall lights.

8. august

i met a ginger-haired goddess with beautiful freckled skin and took some of my most famous photographs. a russian best-selling author was even interested in using this for his next book cover, but when i mentioned money (he wanted to licence it for free!) he stopped answering my e-mails.

i'm not very fond of my body. it's large where it shouldn't be, and small and flat where it should be nice and round. lover took this picture after a thunder storm.

i took pictures of the beautiful russian girl kristina and i staged a fake wedding. i think shooting was all i did in august, trying to use all the little time i had left before leaving to england.

august was also my birthday month. i turned the ugly rotten age of nineteen.

my best birthday present was a hitch-hiking trip to hiiumaa with my lover, taking pictures of the gorgeous kärolin and enjoying summer at its fullest.

9. september

i moved to england with only one suitcase and boarded the plane in a gothic lolita dress like a boss. this picture was taken in summer before our trip to fuerteventura but it's the only decent picture of nottingham that i have. it doesn't look much different right now.

my first english model, elizabeth. shot through the dirty glass of a phone booth.

the english tap water can have strange effects. for example, i got a moustache.

10. october

my second shoot with an english model, not much better as it lacked... everything. oh well, at least the girl got some pretty pictures for her portfolio (which was full of crap before).

taken in our churchyard. it's one of the few pictures of myself that i actually like. must be the red bow tie.

i also got a job as a part-time photographer for a clothing company. i dressed the mannequin, took a picture, then undressed it. nothing too amazing, but a nice addition to my cv.

11. november

my second shoot with a non-estonian model (yuri is from thailand). also my first asian model. after this shoot i used the same colour scheme (purple undertones, yellow highlights) for all my photos.

1.5 years together. mom was kind enough to send us some warm woolen socks. thank you mom.

i bleached my hair (yup, the saga begins again...) and wrote lots of beauty posts since i've been receiving tons of free samples every month. the benefits of living in the uk.

12. december

trip to london. at first i was supposed to shoot an editorial for a famous magazine, but since the designer cancelled a few days before the shoot, i was left with nothing but two very simple test shoots.

everything went better than expected. i met two amazing models/actors who opened my eyes to whole new possibilities. thank you chloe and thank you josanne. you made my london trip precious.

st dunstans the east, a beautiful gothic churchyard near the tower of london. i will always go back there.

i shot my first wedding in torquay and discovered the perfections and imperfections of the 50mm f1.4 lens. it's amazing with good lighting conditions and awful in broad daylight and discos. i don't even know which lens would be good for discos, but definitely not this one.

the beautiful brixham, also known as the english riviera. i want to live there someday.

i think it's pretty neat how my skills have evolved during this year. apart from pretty girls, i am now also shooting landscapes. it's a big step for me because i suck at it. it demands much more composition and you can't just rely on the model's pretty eyes. but i'm trying to get better so that i could share my memories.

it has been a rough year. lots of disappointment, anger and sorrow. but it has also been an amazing year, with tons of excitement, happiness and joy. one day i will look back to this year and say that this was the beginning. the beginning of a lifelong dream, the rebirth of my creativity.

i am going to release something beautiful tomorrow which will hopefully become a monthly tradition. your support means the world to me and it gives me strength to make my ideas come true. i want a beautiful new year, three times wilder than this one. wishing you all the best and lots of adventures.

love, s

30 December 2011

mini muffins

chocolate chip mini muffins with grinded nuts and chocolate flakes
mini muffins are apparently my new favourite food now. i used to bake muffins for my friends and family all the time (i don't usually eat muffins) but these babies... they're all mine. i don't really feel like sharing them with others. ;)

how to make these cuties: take three egg whites and mix them with sugar until it looks very fluffy and foamy.
mix two cups of flour with one teaspoonful of baking powder and mix the egg foam and flour together.
add a pinch of salt (very important) and some oil (also important). if you can find chocolate chips, add them to the flour.
use the mortar and pestle to grind some nuts (any nuts will do).
also look for any cereals and mueslis (something that has pecan nuts inside is always good).

cover the muffin bases with a few drops of oil (you can also try liquid honey as a sweet extra).
fill them carefully with a teaspoon until half of the paper bowl is full and spread the grinded nuts on top.
i also found a very useful "decoration perfection" jar, filled with four different types of chocolate decorations which is now my best friend whenever i decide to bake something.

bake in the oven at 170C for 10 minutes until the muffins are golden.
enjoy while still warm ;) (with milk maybe? or earl grey tea?)

got any nice muffin recipes to share with me? ♥

29 December 2011

my first wedding

here's what i did in torquay.

my first wedding ever. i was the second photographer, trying to capture some spontaneous moments and little details. i shot over eight hundred pictures and about one hundred and fifty made it to the final album. i didn't include any family portraits here (because they tend to be boring and posed) but rather some of my own favourites.

the best one? in your opinion? (: