31 July 2012

ghost


a lot has been happening.

 i have been writing and drafting and erasing everything and writing again -- but so far, no luck.
words seem quite unreal and i only post pictures these days.
i no longer run away. it's been raining a lot and i barely remember what it feels like to be on the road, alone.

i have never felt so free.

i feel like i'm somehow letting go of everything. of all the hurt, the memories inked deep into our skin. and although i told myself not to forget, i no longer remember little details about you. like you are... fading away, slowly, but leaving anyway. making room for everything else.

i'm sorry we ended like we did, i never wanted to see you cry.

sometimes i still think of us. of all our imperfections and serious fights and the tears and anger. maybe this was what made us so great, all the misunderstandings and the pain afterwards. i'm glad you had the courage to keep it up no matter how wrecked i was. you were perfect in your own way.

every now and then i stumble upon a blog post about our past (and usually end up deleting them). isn't it strange how we lived together for two years and nothing else but virtual words remain? like you left without leaving a trace of your existence?

i will probably never understand you


2 comments:

Hellera said...

I see your two years ended too. Strange, isn't it?

Siiri said...

a few months ago, yes.