28 October 2012

to where we belong

driving in rain.

i guess that's what growing up feels like. when you're no longer a child but a responsible adult instead.

i was sort of hoping for this to happen many years later (or never at all), but life has a habit of taking everything you love and throwing it across the oceans, when you least expect it.

maybe that's what growing up is. losing. the death of innocence, a gray dawn.

i don't know yet how to overcome this darkness (and what have i done to even deserve it) but i will have to learn, i will have to find my light.

i will be strong, stronger than ever.

my fingers, soaked with pink hair dye.

train station at night.

sunday morning.

"i want to go on a roadtrip."
- "i know."

23 October 2012

espoir, test

late evening in the old town.

15 October 2012

apple pie

if there's anything i love as passionately as photography, it's cooking for sure.

i told my housemate today that i was craving apple pie and we decided to bake one. m did all the hard work, including peeling the apples and whipping the eggs (i suck at whipping stuff) while i just poured almost everything in the kitchen all the necessary ingredients into a huge bowl and pretended i knew what i was doing carefully baked this pie.

since people in this household almost never buy white sugar, i found some muscovado sugar instead which gave the dough a very interesting gingerbread-like taste (but it disappeared during baking). i also added cinnamon. like, lots of cinnamon. because apple pies seem somewhat incomplete when there's no cinnamon. i don't know why.

unfortunately there's no exact recipe since i measure everything by eye, but i think i may have mixed together pancake flour, normal wheat flour and corn flour (we didn't have enough wheat flour so i improvised), four eggs, around 100 grams of butter (maybe a bit more) and milk. four fist-sized apples and two large jonagold apples (that was too much). baked for 45 minutes until the dough wasn't liquid anymore.

that was one of the best cakes i've ever made.

10 October 2012

september, instagram

this month's instagram material is a little bland, but it will have to do. plus, i don't really have anything else to share at the moment (or maybe there is and i have forgotten it). 

i just finished murakami's 'norwegian wood' and it was horrible. i couldn't stop crying when i read the last few pages and it happened on public transport and it was all terribly awkward. sometimes i wish i could share everything i felt back then but i don't think i can, my mind is so empty.

ellie goulding's new album 'halcyon' is musicgasmic and i have eaten fish every day this week. i don't know why, i really like fish right now. also, i baked a chocolate cake today to make sure life is perfect.

that's it for now, i will be back with better photos soon.

we went on a late night roadtrip and had a little barbeque in the dark.

the river

behind the scenes of sweater weather

ever since people discovered how much i like hello kitty,
they have been giving me various stuff.

at the fabric store (where i bought hello kitty fabric for a skirt)

some cutlery i found at the abandoned greenhouses

luunja (another roadtrip at night)

behind the scenes of this shoot.

my most precious hairdressing equipment

pancakes with chocolate and ice cream of my god i can't. they're too good.

some film pictures, in print.

dark yellow skyline


the colourful lights of my city

5 October 2012


devon, england. december 2011
have you ever felt so lost that no place feels like home anymore? even if the bed has my smell on it, i can't fall asleep and i spend the night thinking and wandering in a dreamless state of mind. i feel like i'm homesick for a place that doesn't even exist, longing for something that can never be reached - and getting on the next train or bus seems like the easiest option on these days.

i sometimes think that maybe the road is like a lover from the ages past, with their touch so familiar to the skin and their voice constantly echoing in the head. i would come back to this affair every now and then, like i would come back to everything i can't let go of. and she's always there, waiting at the stations with a sad smile on her mouth, dressed in crimson and clouds, with rivers and forests buried inside. she knows my heart like nobody else does, and her wretched hands hold mine when i softly forget everything.

i'm glad you've been there for me, lying next to me in a dark room and doing nothing but listening.
sometimes it's just enough. especially right now.

second tattoo

ink and design by the notorious liisa kask, a brand new tattoo artist at mama's pride salon.
i'm very happy with this beautiful piece of art on my skin and can't wait to have it coloured.
it took four hours and hurt like hell. totally worth it.

(the clock stands at 9:42 which is my exact birth time)

1 October 2012

free curves #10

click here to download the set
it's already october! so here i am presenting a brand new curve set where i tried to create something suitable for different types of lighting - let me know how they work, i am always happy to see what people have created with my colours.

if you don't know yet how to use photoshop curves, see this page (there are nine more curve sets available for downloading).